The Scab Man

Going to court today, got a traffic ticket I’m nervous, and a little scared
My mom leaves so I’m lonely but there are nice people willing to talk to me
A cop shows up, he looks badass, with a full head of graying hair except for a pinprick of a bald spot…the hair gathers around it like a weather forecast picture of a hurricane, the baldness being the eye of the storm. Oh man a fat lady came up to the stand and her drape like dress is wedged in her butt…EW
Some gangster Spanish guy with a tattoo pleads guilty, he has a right to an attorney, and he hit someone with his buff tattooed arm and ended up in court. Meanwhile I spot an attorney I’d like to call pasta head because his hair looks like a toupee but its not, and from far away it’s the well groomed rectangle mane of a Spartan horse. The cop orders people to shut up and put away their cell phones…like that will happen…some girl is texting in front of me but you won’t notice her. When I grow up I’d like long flowing silver hair like Inuyasha, some old lady has it in this pew, her face is racooned over with eyeliner but her hair wins the Pantene Pro V commercial for grannies award. And then there’s this old man who just stationed himself next to me, in his fifties maybe, balding a bit, with cheap sporty shorts on and a faded green shirt. Id bet $10 that he was the worst dressed in the room, except for some Q ball guy wearing a tank top….not pretty. IF you’ve ever heard (or looked up on YouTube) a song called The Scat Man, you should, because in my peripheral vision I see this dude picking a scar from his crinkly hand… or dry skin, but it fluttered down like sakura petal dandruff off his epidermis. To the tune of that song I shall call him The Scab Man!~ Sadly, later on I see his finger near his face, picking who knows what this time…I think his nose and then a crablike clamp and flick gesture. Dude, gross. Thanks be to God when I was called up, paid a minor fine and left. I will never know his name but I forgot to look at him one last time, this Scab Man of mine. Undoubtedly one of the most productive things he’s done is being the topic of my largest blog post to date…so he’s worth around 2...3...points? I might not ever see him again, I don’t want to, but when I see a Hobo on the street you sure as hell know I will think of him.


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